i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i wish my penis had a tongue
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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