well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize