It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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