chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
