69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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