I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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