All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
are you so shy because you have an std?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
