you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
