I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
