I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
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i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
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I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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