So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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