Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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