Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
