FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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