Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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