he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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