hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
