At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
