Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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