I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
