So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
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