don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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