She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Sorry about my life...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
