You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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