alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
