My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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