Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
