I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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