so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
wanna go halves on a baby?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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