ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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