i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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