i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
