theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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