Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
