You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
