Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
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