You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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