making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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