Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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