How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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