Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
high people should be assigned attendants
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
