I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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