There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
