...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I could make wine with my vomit
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He did a backflip because drugs
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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