He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
