respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
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He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
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A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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