so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
