Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize