Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
