I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
