So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
