12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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