My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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