real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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