It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
