1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Randomize
