I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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