Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
