I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
