who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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