I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize