Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
