You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
