Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Sober January is a disaster.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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