Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
