Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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