Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Walk of Shame today included voting.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
